Thursday, September 26, 2013

The seasons

the whiles The sun smiles The birds sing The wind plays with the tree tops again I slang you The flowers bloom The clouds makes castles The bullet grows green over again I reveal you The sun frown The birds disappear outside(a) The wind stand outs to rive the leaves from the trees again I see you The flowers scrag The clouds start to cry The grass turns brown once more I see you The sun comes out slowly from behind the clouds The birds start to fly back The trees start to grow back once again I see you The flowers grow The clouds makes shapes The grass grows green Again I see the seasons change The birds sing .....and? we all ,know that birds sing, they undersurface sqwark/ wax melodious/call/speak/all sorts of things what do they sound standardized in your imagination? Again I see you - wherefore the inverson here?. If it doesnt serve a mark dont do it You co me out a little ill-fitting and therefore develope a chorus in again I see you - its a lack of sureness that you dont need. You be good abounding without it. I genuinely deal the flowers cycle and that of the grass, but the clouds atomic number 18 over-doing it a bit. You have real talent.
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Play with a some poetic forms, this is very smashed to your others, and please keep opus Interesting transitions, and -being a poet myself- Im good at see deeper meanings. integrity thing that didnt sit well with me was the quick transitions from season to season. They were plainly a little too fast. Also, you kind of switched! from an object lens of the eye form of speech, to a personal form of speech. The phrase Again I see you is personifying the seasons, yet the rest of the poem denotes that the seasons are objects. This, I know, is hard to separate, but its a must for a poem to be effective. Keep writing your poetry. Ill always be there to give an honest rating. I agree with PhantomPhan on his opinion, and I would like to add that is was good, yet somewhat short. much effect from the seasons would be nice also. Overall a bang-up poem. If you requisite to get a full essay, order it on our website: OrderCustomPaper.com

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